Sheriff Harry S. Truman (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
likewatson) wrote2012-12-02 06:28 pm
likewatson) wrote2012-12-02 06:28 pm
001 [video → backtimed to this morning]
[So here's a fun image to start your day with, O denizens of this strange place: A grown man in a cowboy hat, seated on a bed in a room that is obviously not meant for him, contrary to what he's been told by the woman who seems to think she's his mother. He looks damn confused, and the more he fiddles with his PokéGear, the more of him is revealed: the golden flash of a badge, the blur of a beige uniform, something puffy seated on the bed off to his right—
After a few seconds and the sound of an annoyed grunt, said puffy thing starts moving. Then the camera stills, and anyone watching will be treated to the extreme close-up of a Starly's eye.
It’s all downhill from there. The bird starts pecking at the camera’s lens, and when Harry tries to stop it, it goes after his finger. There’s a manly yelp followed by the fluttering of feathers and a loud, annoyed chirp, and the Gear clatters to the floor. The view under the bed is as follows: DUST BUNNIES EVERYWHERE. Way to go, Mom. Ever hear of a vacuum?]
Would you cut that out? Hey!
[This scuffle continues for about two minutes, after which point the Gear is retrieved. Harry’s face comes into view once more, complete with a scratch on his cheekbone that wasn’t there five minutes ago. He looks—to put it mildly—annoyed.]
I have no idea what’s going on, but I’m assuming there’s a camera on this thing for a reason, so if anyone can see this: I would appreciate some kind of explanation. My name is Harry Truman. I'm the sheriff of a town called Twin Peaks, which—as far as I can tell—is a long way from here.
There's a woman downstairs who thinks she's my mother. She really wants me out of here, and believe me, I'd be glad to get a move on, but I don't know where here is.
[He pauses there and sighs. The Starly then hops into view, bouncing into Harry’s lap. Harry oomphs quietly.]
And then there’s the matter of this thing. It won’t leave me alone.
What the hell is all this?
After a few seconds and the sound of an annoyed grunt, said puffy thing starts moving. Then the camera stills, and anyone watching will be treated to the extreme close-up of a Starly's eye.
It’s all downhill from there. The bird starts pecking at the camera’s lens, and when Harry tries to stop it, it goes after his finger. There’s a manly yelp followed by the fluttering of feathers and a loud, annoyed chirp, and the Gear clatters to the floor. The view under the bed is as follows: DUST BUNNIES EVERYWHERE. Way to go, Mom. Ever hear of a vacuum?]
Would you cut that out? Hey!
[This scuffle continues for about two minutes, after which point the Gear is retrieved. Harry’s face comes into view once more, complete with a scratch on his cheekbone that wasn’t there five minutes ago. He looks—to put it mildly—annoyed.]
I have no idea what’s going on, but I’m assuming there’s a camera on this thing for a reason, so if anyone can see this: I would appreciate some kind of explanation. My name is Harry Truman. I'm the sheriff of a town called Twin Peaks, which—as far as I can tell—is a long way from here.
There's a woman downstairs who thinks she's my mother. She really wants me out of here, and believe me, I'd be glad to get a move on, but I don't know where here is.
[He pauses there and sighs. The Starly then hops into view, bouncing into Harry’s lap. Harry oomphs quietly.]
And then there’s the matter of this thing. It won’t leave me alone.
What the hell is all this?
video; | OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ
[Grump grump grump. In normal people terms, he's still just as cranky as ever — but in Albert terms, he's actually surprisingly amenable. Because Harry. Terrible to see him here, too, but...thank god for you, Harry. One more sane person in this damn treehouse.]
First things first. The little announcement you just made just went on a public network — think like a conference call that everybody's got an extension into. And not knowing where you are and asking for help pretty much just marked you as a new kid on the block around here, which means any minute now a pile of people are going to show up and play welcome wagon to try to explain what just happened. And you're not gonna want to believe any of it because it's going to sound crazy, and that's because it is crazy but that hasn't made a damn bit of difference yet.
video;
...for long enough to listen, anyway.]
I've had just about enough of crazy for one lifetime, Albert. Are you telling me you don't have any explanation for this?
[YOU, ALBERT?
YOU?]
video;
[Which comes with its own considerable weight, particularly in matters of the inexplicable. It is, after all, Coop. This one is his vision quest, and for lack of any better answers at this point, Albert's not averse to following the dance.]
The best answer we've got at this point is that somehow — call it magic, call it spirits, call it whatever the hell you want — we've been picked up out of reality and dropped into this place, which is some kind of alternate one. A couple people claim it's based on some kind of kids' game, which if it is — don't get me started. I can't tell you how they did it. I can tell you that this ain't Twin Peaks. Given some of the physics I've seen in play, it's also pretty definitely not any world you or I have ever called home. And at the moment, we're both stuck here with no clue of how it happened, how to get back, or what even we're supposed to do here outside of trying to get along and maybe make the best of it until someone digs up some answers.
video;
BACK THE HELL UP.
Check out this tunnel vision, man: For all that Albert's just said, he might as well have been whispering to Gordon through a pillow.]
Cooper's here?
video;
[DON'T WORRY, HARRY, HE'LL CLARIFY THAT IN JUST A MINUTE. But it nags at him, too, the time displacement, the thought of Cooper alone for apparently so long before they'd all started trickling in like this.]
You're the fourth now. Him, me, you, and Gordon Cole. Hope you packed earplugs.
video;
—what?
video;
Do I need to put it in small words?
video;
[The glare is back! Didn't you miss it for the entire five seconds it wasn't there?]
Alternate reality, no way back, everyone's confused. I understand. What I don't understand is what you're telling me about you and Cooper. How long have you been here?
video;
Local time puts the date at December 2. [Pause.] In the year 2012.
[YEAH, HE KNOWS, WHAT THE FUCK EVEN, RIGHT.]
Time's pretty sticky business around here. Where were you, right before you were here? What were we doing? Where'd you see us?
video;
Instead, he settles for nearly dropping the Gear. Waldo promptly takes this as his cue to attack it again, and another (much more brief) row commences. Once Harry's on his feet and Waldo's on the floor—pecking angrily at his boot, but that's no matter—he speaks again.]
The last thing I remember is talking with Cooper outside the station. That was a few minutes after you told him what you found out about Josie.
video;
Oh, hell, no. Hell no. Wrong choice of topic for this particular moment.
He's so busy seething that he almost doesn't react to the sudden upset of the opposite camera, or the damn bird going wild on it; by the time Harry's back on the line, some of the initial fury has cooled, but it's decidedly still simmering.]
Yeah, I remember that.
[What else is there to say, really?]
They must've picked you up from right after me. Like I said, time's...different. I've been around since late July. Gordon showed up not long after. This time it's your turn. They don't sync up, time back home and time here.
video;
Yeah?
[It's not a question.
For the moment, though, he slides back into their other line of conversation.]
What about Cooper? How long has it been for him?
video;
[He might as well have said, we're not talking about it. Know him or not, there's no mistaking this one.
...Not that he really wants to answer the other question, either.]
He hit two years about a month ago.
video;
—oh, look. There goes the Gear again. It's not the shock of the revelation that makes Harry drop it, but the shock paired with that fact that Waldo just pecked his shin and OH MY GOD WHY IS THAT THING'S BEAK SO SHARP?
Cue a string of creative profanity that even Albert may admire.
At least Harry just figured out how to get the bird back into its Poké Ball?]
Damn it. Sorry.
[Hi again, Albert.]
That's a long time. What have you all been doing?
video;
[BIRDS. B| ]
What do you mean, what have we been doing? Twiddling our thumbs and sampling the good old hometown cherry pie — what do you think we've been doing?
video;
Do I look like I have any idea what the hell goes on in this place?
video;
Join the club.
[SO BITTER.]
Look. While I'm sure you feel right at home in that podunk little burg they call a starting town, the big priority right now is getting you to the rest of us. That means either a lot of hoofing it on your part, or Cooper's girlfriend is gonna have to play taxi driver again. Neither one is a particularly pleasant solution, but we don't have a lot of options here.
video;
Wait.]
Cooper's what?
video;
[DAMMIT ALBERT JUST LEAVE THAT CAN OF WORMS ON THE SHELF FOR RIGHT NOW, JESUS.]
Let's stay on track here. We need to get you from where you are to a city about halfway across the nation called Goldenrod. There's a train station there that'll bring you over to us. Did you find the map yet?
video;
But he'll let it go. Between this conversation and everything else going on, our sheriff really running out of steam.]
I saw it, yeah. How many miles are we talking?
video;
[Making plans is good. Albert likes making plans. Making plans means getting work done.]
I don't know what we can do for you for those first three days. In the next city over, there's a way we can start sending you supplies, maybe get you some kind of...what passes for transport around here. In the meantime, we're spread too thin and too far afield to do anything right away.
video;
He can make plans on his own, though! HE IS AN ADULT. AND HE IS MAKING PLANS RIGHT NOW.]
I think I'll be able to manage.