001 [video → backtimed to this morning]

[likewatson]

[So here's a fun image to start your day with, O denizens of this strange place: A grown man in a cowboy hat, seated on a bed in a room that is obviously not meant for him, contrary to what he's been told by the woman who seems to think she's his mother. He looks damn confused, and the more he fiddles with his PokéGear, the more of him is revealed: the golden flash of a badge, the blur of a beige uniform, something puffy seated on the bed off to his right—

After a few seconds and the sound of an annoyed grunt, said puffy thing starts moving. Then the camera stills, and anyone watching will be treated to the extreme close-up of a Starly's eye.

It’s all downhill from there. The bird starts pecking at the camera’s lens, and when Harry tries to stop it, it goes after his finger. There’s a manly yelp followed by the fluttering of feathers and a loud, annoyed chirp, and the Gear clatters to the floor. The view under the bed is as follows: DUST BUNNIES EVERYWHERE. Way to go, Mom. Ever hear of a vacuum?]

Would you cut that out? Hey!

[This scuffle continues for about two minutes, after which point the Gear is retrieved. Harry’s face comes into view once more, complete with a scratch on his cheekbone that wasn’t there five minutes ago. He looks—to put it mildly—annoyed.]

I have no idea what’s going on, but I’m assuming there’s a camera on this thing for a reason, so if anyone can see this: I would appreciate some kind of explanation. My name is Harry Truman. I'm the sheriff of a town called Twin Peaks, which—as far as I can tell—is a long way from here.

There's a woman downstairs who thinks she's my mother. She really wants me out of here, and believe me, I'd be glad to get a move on, but I don't know where here is.

[He pauses there and sighs. The Starly then hops into view, bouncing into Harry’s lap. Harry oomphs quietly.]

And then there’s the matter of this thing. It won’t leave me alone.

What the hell is all this?

Comments

audio; | /SLIDES IN HERE

[worktodo]

[Well, gee whiz, that sure is funny, it almost sounded like some yokel on the tricorders just said his name was Harry Truman from Twin P—

...

HOLD EVERYTHING, HOLY SHIT.]

Harry? Harry S. Truman?

[Recognize this voice yet, Harry?]

Damn this place — what the hell is it doing, dragging you in here?

video; | /EMBRACES

[likewatson]

[Oh, Harry recognizes it, all right. Harry recognizes it immediately. There's no mistaking Albert's gruff, grumpy tone, but Harry finds himself arching a confused eyebrow and hesitating in spite of his certainty.

The problem is, he doesn't see Albert, only hears him. This is cause for concern. Suspicion, even. He certainly doesn't want to be caught talking to himself, and—

Aw, hell. He's gone crazy, hasn't he? He's gone crazy, and he's going to be stuck with Albert's voice in his head forever.]

Wish I could tell you.

[And then comes the glaring, because Harry is far from forgetting what happened earli—

Yester—

Whenever the hell that was. Harry doesn't take kindly to people accusing his girlfriend of all kinds of shit. Even if it might be true.

And so what if Albert is probably a figment of his over-tired imagination? HE CAN GLARE IF HE WANTS TO. YOU JUST WATCH HIM.]

audio; → video; | /WELCOME WAGONS

[worktodo]

Harry, pick up the damn pho—never mind, hold on.

[POKIN' AT THE GEAR, SETTIN' UP THE VIDEO, HEY LOOK IT'S AN ALBERT.]

Look, I already know what you're gonna say, so can it. Just think of it like a phone. A super advanced straight-out-of-Star-Trek phone. It's not a hoax, it ain't Halloween, and this is going to go a lot more smoothly if you just suspend disbelief for two seconds and actually try to embrace the idea that I might know what I'm talking about right now. For a given value of "know", anyway.

Do you see me now? I can see you. [Pause.] They gave you a bird.

video; | PARTY WAGON, WOO

[likewatson]

[So it is.

Okay, probably not crazy. That's a relief. And he's almost happy to see Albert, because hey! Someone he knows.

Still, he frowns, then adjusts the Gear so Waldo is more easily seen. The bird tilts his head and leans in for another peck.]

Yeah, they did.

So who are they?

[usedconfusion]

Yeah, I'm comin' up with a big fat nothin' dude. Sorry 'bout that.

[likewatson]

[Oh, young man.

The look you just received.]

Thanks.

[usedconfusion]

[Sorry, Ron is oblivious to your look]

Although it does kinda remind me of that time I was trapped in a videogame.

[video]

[tapestodiane]

<sub>[It's a good thing Coop likes to distract himself with productivity, or he might have missed this Network post completely (or at least until Albert or Gordon would have pointed it out to him). But he catches it and moreover, he recognises Harry immediately - something he might not have done as quickly if he didn't remember him from just a few days ago.]

[It's with a certain relief he lets that one sink in: Harry's here. Harry, who he'd count among his short list of friends despite only having known him for about a month, two years back. He's dependable, capable. Familiar.]

[But at the same time there's an apprehension coloring his response, because if Harry's here ... then who else might be?]

[And it's that apprehension that makes for a pause before he connects to the video feed. Just a moment to gather himself. Not compose, exactly, but he's still different from what Harry will expect to find.]</sub>

It's yours.

_{[He says it simply, starting at maybe the wrong end, before he seems to backtrack mentally.]}

I'll explain as much as I can, but it will take a while for anyone to believe.

[video]

[likewatson]

[Albert said Cooper was here, so Harry doesn't know why he's so surprised.



—no, yes he does. When Albert said Cooper, Harry was expecting Cooper. And yeah, there's time between them—a fair amount of it, not that Harry feels it—but he can't help but forget this whole mess and the bird in his lap for just one second and instead wonder, with a frown, what the hell happened.]

Albert already tried. I'm not sure your explanation will make any more sense than his.

[video]

[tapestodiane]

_{[Cooper smiles in response, or it's supposed to be one, anyway - it's a tired one, a "you got me" sort of thing, but he nods like he agrees all the same.]}

Speaking frankly? Me neither. But regardless of how or why we're here, I will say that I am happy to see you.

_{[And that is, if nothing else, absolutely true. Harry's going to have a hard time being torn from Twin Peaks, but if Coop allows himself to be selfish for a moment? He really is glad to have him there.]}

[Video]

[foolishwren]

_{[GREETINGS FROM WHAT APPEARS TO BE A TEENAGER WHO JUST WOKE UP.]}

... Wellp, that explanation's a LONG one, but take it from me, if you don't get outta that house soon, she's probably gonna throw you out.

That lady can be pretty scary.

[Video]

[likewatson]

[SO MANY TEENAGERS, WHY.

Not that Harry's going to complain about anyone helping him.

...not that this really seems like the kind of help he'd had in mind.]

Who is she?

[Video]

[foolishwren]

<sub>[IT'S YOUR FATE, HARRY.]

[You are just doomed to deal with teenagers being super duper helpful forever. Don't you enjoy mild-mannered orchid-growers hanging themselves and psychiatrists getting beaten unconscious?]</sub>

We just call her 'Mom'. I'm not totally sure she HAS another name. _{[ALL THE LOCALS CALL HER THAT TOO it's weird.]}

She's got like... some kinda souped-up Empty Nest Syndrome or something and does this to everybody.

_{[She pauses for a second or two.]}

... It's kinda sad, really.

audio;

[doitrockapella]

[She's not sure what surprises her more, actually — the name Harry Truman or the mention of Twin Peaks — a name she's heard mentioned more than once by some Very Important Persons around here. And it's that surprise that motivates her to go in for audio (Coop's favored method) rather than her usual preferred method of text.

So have a decidedly feminine voice, Sheriff Truman. Consider her officially curious.]

That's quite the name you have, Sheriff.

video for now;

[likewatson]

[And Harry's eyebrows go shooting right up. Hel-lo. Countdown to awkward: 10, 9, 8...]

My namesake was quite the man, ma'am.

audio forever;

[doitrockapella]

The thirty-third President of the United States, authorized the use of the atomic bomb as a means of ending World War II, helped to found the United Nations, oversaw the Berlin Airlift and the creation of NATO...I'd say he was.

Your achievements are equally numerous, I hope.

[#FLIRTS]

[video]

[complexrestart]

[sorry but all of that's really too funny to not giggle at]

You're in Johto and that thing that won't leave you alone is called a pokémon.

[video]

[likewatson]

[Are you giggling at him, young lady? B| ]

So I've heard.

[video] aaaah sorry for taking so long!!

[complexrestart]

[Yep!! It's really just too funny.]

Ah, good. What have you been told so far? I may be able to fill in a few blanks.

[Audio]

[leftinbasketforfbi]

That's, uh, that's a Starly? It most resembles a Starling in body structure, if not necessarily in plumage, and it will eventually evolve into a Staravia, which will in turn evolve into a Staraptor.

They're weak individually, so they tend to flock, and their calls are very loud and strident to give the illusion of size, but despite their appearance, their wing beats are incredibly strong and, in peak physical form, could probably break an arm. That's, of course, if they wanted to do so. It's probably more meant for self-defense than for flying, really, since their small bone structure plus the light wind in their native forested habitats should make it so they could easily fly with less muscle mass.

That is, assuming that all the rules of physics and evolutionary efficiency apply in this case, which they don't always in this world.

[Hi, Harry. Meet Reid.]

[Video]

[likewatson]

[This is what Harry gets for asking a vague question.

He blinks at the Gear a few times, then nods. Okay, sure. That's useful information, he guesses.]

Thanks for all that.

[Audio]

[leftinbasketforfbi]

Y-yeah, no problem. I know how this can be sort of, uh, overwhelming.

I'm assuming someone's explained this place to you a little bit?

[Audio]

[canthearyou]

[Well, at least Gordon’s found something on the network to distract him from wandering through the Ilex Forest back to Goldenrod.

…wait, he knows who that person is.]

SHERIFF? WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?

[At this rate, they’re going to have a full fledged police station/branch office by the end of the year. Which would be pretty nice actually.]

[Audio]

[likewatson]

[And Harry sure as hell doesn't need to ask who this is, good Lord. He's startled enough that he almost drops the Gear—again—but Gordon, luckily, gets to miss out on all the motion sickness-inducing fumbling now that Harry's switched to audio.

He was on his way out, but now...]

Just a little—

[That's not going to work, is it? He raises his voice.]

A LITTLE WHILE AGO.

Re: [Audio]

[canthearyou]

A LITTLE WHILE AGO? SO YOU JUST GOT HERE. HAVE YOU BEEN TOLD ABOUT THE WALK YET? THERE'S NO CARS HERE. NONE.

[And considering some of the distances, that can be a bit of a problem.]

YOU HAVE TO WALK EVERYWHERE FOR THE MOST PART.